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Self Harming
There was a man (we’ll call him, Mic) who worked in a pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought...
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Invisible Coffee?
What the–? Coffee that doesn’t stain teeth? What happened to your hard-earned UK reputation for deplorable gnashers? How do we make fun of you now?
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PROFUNDITY
Sometimes you experience an insight so profound, that it makes you feel like you were touched by Socrates, Freud, or even Einstein. Please ponder the example below : (This is intended solely for our...
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So true !
I’m not a Grandparent, but I know what this feels like . . . (received in an email)
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SECURITY UPDATE
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to...
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Pick Rarefit* RIP
It is with great sadness that we heard today of the untimely death of Pick Rarefit, co-founder and rhythm guitarist of one of The Greatest British Rock Bands of All Time, Status Quid. Quid (as they are...
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The MH Annual Newsletter
We, here at Madhatter Towers, would like to take this opportunity to wish a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to our reader. 2016 is now on its last legs, but BOY what a year it has proved to...
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More bloody PC nonsense ?
NO NATIVITY SCENE AT WESTMINSTER THIS YEAR . . ! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the nation’s House of Commons this Christmas season. This isn’t for any religious...
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He became an Engineering Designer instead – same difference
A recently discovered school photo featuring NobblySan (top R/H corner) when he was dreaming of becoming a professional footballer, hoping he might be spotted by a talent scout.
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Social Intercourse
We live in boxes, one, our home, the other is a metaphorical box representing our insular existence. A wealth of information can be gleaned from the study and sharing of seemingly trivial, everyday...
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It Ain’t Half Hot Mum
BSM Williams : Never before have I seen such a blatant display of poofery !
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Would I lie to you ? – Well, would I . . ?
I’m sorry that I haven’t been in touch recently, but something quite extraordinary happened to me. . It was on a perfectly normal sunny afternoon and I was strolling along a little used road, making a...
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Your MH Horoscope
Your Astrological predictions This week you will feel a little disoriented. This is nothing that should worry you and is a natural consequence of Uranus and its neighbouring Aries being in orbit. Your...
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Today’s contender for the “Minimum Comment / Like” award – No. 2
Trying to become the recognised holder of the Mad Hatters “Minimum Comment/Like” award is no easy task. Competition is fierce for this prestigious title, with entries being presented on a daily basis...
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The original invitation to join the “Common Market”
“Won’t you join our Common Market?” said the spider to the fly, “It really is a winner and the cost is not too high’. “I know De Gaulle said “Non,” but he hadn’t got a clue.” ‘We want you in, as we...
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Good News for Duncan
Shortly it will become compulsory for Old Age Pensioners to carry not only some form of ID, but also their insurance documents, their prescription list, a compact version of their medical file, the...
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